We don’t just inherit history - we inherit the stories people told to make sense of it, to justify it, or to survive it.
Most of us were handed versions of history that made someone look heroic and someone else invisible. Those stories shape how we see ourselves, our country, and each other. But the moment we start to question them (when we start to widen the lens) we begin to understand that remembering differently isn’t betrayal. It’s restoration. It’s how we give voice back to the people who lost more than just their place in the story; they lost their land, their language, and their power to be remembered at all.
That’s what this week’s reflection is about: not rewriting history but reclaiming our responsibility to see it whole. To recognize that we can’t move forward if we keep editing out the pain that built the present.
🌱 Consideration
Every time I hear someone defend Columbus like he’s a sacred symbol of America, I hear something underneath it: fear.
Fear of losing the version of history they were raised on.
Fear of feeling wrong, or complicit, or small.
And I get that, because it is hard to let go of the stories that built your identity. But there’s a difference between losing your version of history and losing your history itself.
🗣️ Communication
We have to start talking about that difference. We can’t heal what we won’t name.
Indigenous people didn’t just lose their perspective: they lost their land, their language, their power, and for many, their very existence. That’s not “a different view of the past.”
That’s genocide.
It’s okay to feel conflicted about what you were taught, that’s part of growth. But it’s not okay to cling to myths just because they feel more comfortable.
Growth hurts. Awakening costs something. But denial costs everyone.
🤝 Connection
We need to find empathy again. Not performative guilt. Not hollow patriotism.
Empathy.
Because real connection starts when we can sit together and say:
“I can honor my ancestors and still tell the truth about them.”
“I can feel pride and still face the pain.”
“I can love my country and still want it to do better.”
That’s how we move, together, from bitter to better.
👉 I have created a TOOLKIT to help you as you navigate the stories you choose. The “History We Inherit and the Stories We Choose” toolkit is a space to pause, unlearn, and reframe. It’s not about guilt; it’s about empathy. It’s about remembering that healing begins when we stop defending our myths and start listening to the truth they tried to bury. You can download it for FREE HERE!
📩 Let’s Talk:
Hit reply and tell me: When did history start to feel different for you… like you suddenly saw it through someone else’s eyes? or, what’s one story from your family or culture that you see differently now - and why?
You don’t have to have it all figured out, just share where you are in the journey. I read every response.
Growing with you,
Tobias
From Bitter to Better
🌐 tobiasneal.me | 📸 @tobias.neal
Follow along on my socials for more reflections and encouragement. (Instagram, Facebook, and Threads) Let’s keep walking this journey together.
If you would like to read past Newsletter/Blog Posts you can do so here!
Looking for a speaker to spark reflection, connection, and conversation? Hit reply and let’s connect, I’d be honored to join your event.
🖤 Bitterness ends here. But the work keeps going.
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