The Holiday Hangover No One Talks About

Joy wasn't meant to be seasonal because belonging is meant to be permanent.

🌱 Consideration

The Season That Saves Lives, and Still Hurts Like Hell

There’s a myth that suicides skyrocket during the holidays. We’ve all heard it. Maybe believed it.

Truth is? Data from national reports and mental-health studies show suicides actually drop in December, including on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

But here’s where it gets real:

You can be surrounded by twinkling lights and still feel completely alone.
You can be sitting at a dinner table with people who love you and still feel like you’re drowning.
You can be expected to feel joy — and instead feel pressure, grief, and shame for not feeling it.

The holiday season can lower suicide rates while raising emotional pain. Both can be true at the same time.

And after the celebrations fade, many people risk crashing hard — a rebound in mental-health crises that shows up in the weeks and months after.

So what do we do?
We notice each other.
We hold space for both joy and pain.
We prepare for what happens after the decorations get boxed up.

🗣️ Communication

What Helps During the Holidays - Helps Even More After

We know what protects people (because the holiday data proves it works):

• Being remembered
• Being invited
• Being needed
• Having rituals that give structure
• Having something to look forward to
• Feeling like someone notices if you disappear

That’s why suicide rates dip.
Not because of Christmas.
But because of connection.

And we can absolutely carry that forward.

So, this year, instead of wishing everyone a “Merry Christmas,” what if we committed to a January & February plan to keep warmth alive when the cold hits the hardest?

Even small, imperfect gestures can keep someone alive.

🤝 Connection

A Simple Plan to Protect Each Other

Try one (or more) of these:

• Check-in Fridays - message the same 1–3 people every week through February
• February Family Dinner - invite someone who might be eating alone
• A light in the dark - schedule one thing to look forward to each week
• Give grief a place - create a ritual to honor someone missing from the table
• Stay reachable - don’t disappear just because the calendar flipped

Because belonging isn’t a season.
It’s a lifeline.

No one should have to wait for the holidays to feel wanted.
No one should only matter when the world is celebrating.

If you’re struggling: you are not a burden.
If you’re someone’s safe person: don’t assume they’re okay because they smiled once.

Let’s hold space, and keep holding it.

We belong to each other.
This is how we get better.
Together.

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👉 Download the “After the Holidays Toolkit” A free resource designed to help you stay connected, grounded, and supported into the new year. Because you deserve belonging all year long — not just during the holidays.
👉 Click here to get your copy.

Growing with you,

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​ Tobias​
From Bitter to Better
🌐 tobiasneal.me | 📸 @tobias.neal​

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🖤 Bitterness ends here. But the work keeps going.